It’s true for parenting, and it’s true for us in general. We don’t get to be perfect, certainly not in this life, and even when two parties are convinced that they are each correct, we won’t always be in perfect agreement. But it is a faithful practice to choose connection, again and again and again. Seventy times seven.

A final clarifying point: you are not required to remain in relationship with someone who abuses you. Please never think that I would ask that of you, or that God would ask that of you. My discussion here is about community and how we handle disagreement, and not about abuse.

Grace and peace,

Becky

Prayer

The following prayer was shared with me in the wake of the Charlie Kirk shooting, and now I’m sharing it with you. You can pray it as it is, or you can pray that second line like this: “we confess that too often we choose breakage and fracture.”

God of peace,
we confess that too often we choose violence
as our answer to difference,
as our solution to conflict.
We see its ripple effects —
families shattered, children traumatized,
whole communities marked with loss and fear.
Forgive us.
Teach us a better way,
a holy imagination of justice, mercy and reconciliation.

On this day of remembering,
strengthen in us a deep commitment to your way of peace.
Make us builders of bridges,
makers of community,
and keepers of hope,
until swords are beaten into plowshares
and your reign of love is all in all.[1]

[1] https://pres-outlook.org/2025/09/a-prayer-against-violence/